Holocaustic Contest

An Iranian newspaper, Hamshahri, is holding a Holocaust cartoon contest, to retaliate against the publication of images of the Prophet Muhammad which have served as a catalyst for mucho violence worldwide.

I don’t draw well, so I spoke to the Tehran publication’s Graphics Editor Farid Mortazavi about whether or not he’d accept a verbal contribution. He enthusiastically encouraged me to participate, and so below you’ll find my Top Ten.

10. How many Concentration Camp Victims did it used to take to screw in a light bulb? The answer is…”It depended on how long they’d been starved.”

9. How many drunken Nazis did it take to screw up (the making of) a lampshade? Variation on the theme: How many Jews did it take to make a lampshade?

8. What line from what Stones’ song was inspired by The Ovens? Answer: “I’m Jumpin’ Jack Flash, it’s a gas, gas, gas.”

7. Originally, how many numbers were planned for inside the forearms of Jews? Answer (to the trick question): None, initially the idea was to sever arms at the elbow, and let The Chosen bleed to death.

6. What popular 60s group was forced to change their name by the Children of Holocaust Survivors? Answer: The Lovin’ Spoonful originally called themselves John Sebastian’s Oven Tuneful.

5. What set of double letters almost replaced the Schutzstaffel’s SS and infamous double-sig rune? I’m not gonna tell ‘ya, except to say that Heinrich Himmler didn’t get his way.

4. What would a Nazi Party not be a party without? Answer: Inflated numbers of fatalities.

3. What baseball expression is taken directly from The Camps? Answer: “To the showers!”

2. What’s different between Auschwitz Surviving Roma, Dachau “Disabled” Survivors, and (some) Surviving Jews from Belsen? Answer: Only the latter lived to die as comedians in the Catskills.

1. What Wannabe at Wannsee got Ward Churchill into so much trouble last year? Answer: A Little (Adolph) Eichmann.

Richard Oxman, rmoxman@yahoo.com, presents the above with no apologies…considering the double-standard that’s been bandied about/enforced on behalf of Jews worldwide, while simultaneously denigrating so much that’s holy to Muslims. What’s bad for the goose is bad for the gander as per http://www.zmag.org/content/showarticle.cfm?SectionID=30&ItemID=9678