RATM’s Inaugural Address

RATM’s Inagural Address (FIRST DRAFT)
A belated holiday gift to Brad, Tim, Tom and Zack
by Aurochs

[Wild applause.]

Zack (and the podium with Tom Tom, Top O’ the Morning to ‘Ya Tim and Bad Brad): Ladies and Germs! [Applause dies down.] Thanks for voting us into the Sacred Seat in Sacramento along with our eight other colleagues. We promise to remain unaffiliated, and — as promised — to not become careerists. [Pause.] We all have work to do… so I’ll… we’ll make this brief. We give you what we call “Ten Stops” to start with. Ten ideas to embrace… which are designed to make a positive difference in our lives by encouraging specific action immediately.

1. Stop thinking that the U.S. hasn’t done far more damage to the world than Nazi Germany. [See some Chomsky blah blah for a very brief, palatable (albeit insufficient) intro to the historical reference here; if that doesn't suffice perhaps http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKwJI9axblQ&feature=player_embedded and/or http://www.zmag.org/zaudio/3314 will put the analogy to bed... by merely touching the tip of our blood red, exclusively white and very blue/toxic/inexorable iceberg (now even penetrating deep into space).]

Chorus in formal polka dots: “Seeds planted by our forefathers hand”

2. Stop thinking that you can’t address Climate Change issues by addressing the environmental toxicity which — unquestionably — exists, and which demands immediate attention as per definitive documentation which is part of the public record.

3. Stop thinking that you’re above other living creatures, non-human forms of life.

4. Stop thinking that you know what comprises human nature, what is possible in this life.

Chorus in formal polka dots: “Everything can change on New Years Day, as everything changes on New Years Day.”

5. Stop any form of support for wars or abominations of any kind. That goes for so-called just wars, drug wars, unregulated mining in the Congo, unconscionable military support of Israel (and the like), etc.

6. Stop consuming and wasting as per your present habits.

7. Stop reinforcing the notion of national borders.

Chorus in formal polka dots: “Taste the razor wire!”

8. Stop development (as it’s presently understood, practiced). This will be elaborated on, upon request, of course. As will all else here.

9. Stop trying to control and conquer Nature without respectful concern for limits, without greater perspective than what’s been considered for centuries.

10. Stop incarcerating and immiserating, and begin begging for forgiveness and helping others domestically and worldwide.

Chorus in formal polka dots: “My brother, we are at war until you’re free.”

Thanks for your kind consideration.

We’re going to begin by releasing all political prisoners. No need to be frightened folks, for the whole lot of them — a huge number, admittedly — couldn’t do a fair fraction of the damage to society in a lifetime that a single one of our top corporations does daily… even if they tried… which, I assure you… they are incapable of generating. Still, we expect to get a lot of flack from that first act, and we appeal to you to begin getting used to having to apply pressure to the gangsters who will call themselves “colleagues” (of our group of TOSCA twelve) in the sacred halls of Sacramento. You’ll be able to check out our recommendations for doing so on Your Guv’s Channel… tonight at 10pm. [Pause.] Don’t want to take up more of your heartbeats at this juncture, except to point out that we’ll be open 24×7 for you beginning now… right now this minute. If you have any questions or concerns whatsoever, we promise that by calling _____________ or emailing ______________ or faxing _____________________ or, well, you can get all that info from the people in the crowd wearing polka dot outfits. Whoever you make contact with, however, wherever, you’ll be connecting with a person, not subjected to generic communication. One on one, always. Spread the word.

Oh yes, forgot to mention a couple of very hopeful high notes, stuff we’re getting into gear immediately upon leaving this platform. I’ll just mention two among very many. No special order here, but we will definitely be undermining — via the UC Regents influence — huge subsidies to nuclear weaponry research… again, immediately. Lots of stuff we can do unilaterally, as you probably already know. And — we trust this’ll be GREAT news for one and all — we want you to know that we’ve already recruited over 100 medical professionals who have committed to recruiting colleagues in their profession in the name of re-educating one another respecting health care, AND to offer free clinics throughout the state, making use of volunteers from other countries (which shall remain nameless at the moment, pending “approval” from the federal government). They’ve already secured — without our asking — almost a thousand free facilities statewide (with volunteer help) to relieve the homeless. Places that were previously… simply vacant, being put to no use whatsoever. [Pause.] Oh yeah, the people in the polka dot outfits can give you some info that’ll help you to apply pressure on the gangsters in D.C. …so that we can invite those foreigners onto our shores. If you don’t get a sheet before you leave here, no worries ’cause it’ll all be on our Guv’s Channel tonight.

Fuck the mainstream media!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here’s to soul, punk and unprecedented politics! Soul and punk in politics!

[Brad, Tim, Tom and Zack depart to wild applause.]

Special note: Even if TOSCA loses the upcoming gubernatorial election, a loss which garners more votes than all the other marginalized parties put together (on a zero budget!) will get an international spotlight… enabling us to make an historic contribution to sanity on this planet. The intention, of course, will be to inspire sweet souls worldwide.

Contact Richard at tosca.2010@yahoo.com ASAP. One idea is to name the party THE REAL ARTS PARTY… with one of our main priorities being… helping the public to self-educate about why the arts should be in the center of our lives, and not on the periphery. But everything is open to tweaking so that it serves your purposes, RATM. That would have to be… an improvement for one and all ‘cross the board. Please help us OUT OF THE RAIN.