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Send in the Clowns or Send up the Clowns
by Richard Martin Oxman
Dedicated to Mitch Hedberg and all those who have saved my sense of humor….

“I’m voting for KACA. Are you voting for KACA?” — Campaign slogan (explained below) for a (Kimmel-centered) campaign that will not conduct a traditional political campaign

“Jimmy stands to make out like a bandit, pulling in way more than Blagojevich ever dreamed of with the sale of that senatorial seat.” — Line edited out of the Letter to Guillermo below. If what’s below begins to bore… pour over Door-to-Door With or Without Guillermo, The Lost Comedy Ticket TEST, or Pacquiao Paradigm immediately, dropping this blah blah like a hot potato. The Sexual Aspect of the Kimmel Campaign is one of the latest postings here.

Special note: This may strike you as if I’m out of my mind. If so, you’re simply insane. This piece is not for everyone. People who have not been intensely involved in trying to make a difference, people who have not been frustrated in that realm severely should not read this article probably. FOR THOSE WHO SIMPLY LIKE TO LAUGH, I submit that putting a singular comedian into the Sacred Seat in Sacramento (the gubernatorial office) — or even coming close to doing so — would provide BELLY LAUGHS OF A LIFETIME for one and all. On an ongoing basis, over a period of six months or so. At the very least. And… it would not only not do us any harm, it would do an enormous amount of good, and create beautiful historic waves in the process. Late Night Laughers should, then, scroll all the way down to my signature at the bottom… where I provide the skinny on what all my blah blah is about. Where the “P.S.” is, my Letter to Guillermo.

The “clowns” in the title do not refer to circus clowns. Instead, they symbolize fools, as Sondheim explained in a 1990 interview:

As I think of it now, the song could have been called ‘Send in the Fools.’ I knew I was writing a song in which Desirée is saying, ‘aren’t we foolish’ or ‘aren’t we fools’? Well, a synonym for fools is clowns, but ‘Send in the Fools’ doesn’t have the same ring to it.[2] — Wikipedia

For the most part, the dearest people I know, the most involved souls I’m aware of, don’t seem to acknowledge that there’s nothing on the activist table which has a shot in hell at turning things around. I mean, there might very well be a few current proposals for action that could make a difference, but the vast majority of socially/environmentally-conscious citizens are doing work that is destined to go nowhere; they are immersed in doomed deeds. [Elaboration upon request, of course.]

People have either held onto the obsolete notion that self-serving politicians are involved in a legitimate electoral game, or they’ve become resigned to the notion that they can’t do anything about their lives. Only 39% of eligible voters came out in the last gubernatorial election, and the upcoming California contest is slated to garner an even lower percentage. THIS MUST STOP. [Elaboration upon request, of course.]

There is a clear need to upset the chess board, the game which is being tolerated by just about every citizen on the planet. To flip the board over*, and — in the ensuing scramble for the pieces, midst the frantic discussion which follows about WHY? — inject some humor, some light form of motivation to change things. For serious efforts are presently going down the drain. Traditional models for action are coming to nothing, losing us all valuable time which we can ill afford. This isn’t a Pat Paulsen or Colbert-type schtick; this has a real life (cutting) edge to it.

*Legally and non-violently.

For citizens to take the kind of action that’s required on environmental and all other fronts, arguably the first thing that must go is trust/faith/belief in our electoral process. Only then, when citizens feel the burden on their very own backs, will there be the possibility of our uniting (in a new way) to save ourselves. I could spell out a number of possible ways, but such delineation would be premature. What the reader has to do — you — is help me SEND IN A CLOWN. Send in a Grand Fool. I don’t know Jimmy, but I’ll bet he’d be the first to tell ‘ya that he’s a fool. Just like I would say so about myself. [Pause.] That said, let it be said that any fool could do a better job than what’s been done to date (or in a very long time) by CA officials. Especially if that fool were a part of a spot-on decent group that meant to do the right thing.[For those who feel no sense of urgency about this whole shebang, please contact me for an explanation of my metabolism.]

Back to the clown. Not the Sondheim type of clown anyway, but — rather — a straight-up comedian.

So that comic can make us laugh the curtain down from our Wizard of Oz-like quadrennial (electoral) extravaganzas, giving us a chance to, then, realize where the real and relevant hope for change can be found. Hint: It’s not in the masters’ elections and candidates and all the rest of that citizen-marginalizing rubbish. Hint: Like Heaven itself, we hold it in our hands and hearts. [Don't let me lose you with my seriousness here; what the opening dude says about the role of music (on the video link) I say the same for sweet comedy.]

Our comedian doesn’t have to care a bit about what’s above. Our funny man need not even agree with the specifics, priorities which keep us up at night. In fact, like some of the people I am already working with in solidarity on this project, the comic, our HOST, can have priorities/views which are diametrically opposed to mine. No matter. “Shake up the world with a gut wrencher, and see what happens,” that’s what I say.

In literature, the jester is symbolic of common sense and of honesty, notably in King Lear, the court jester is a character used for insight and advice on the part of the monarch, taking advantage of his license to mock and speak freely to dispense frank observations and highlight the folly of his monarch. I plagiarized that from Wikipedia. So what? A comedian says funny things, a comic does funny things, and a clown does things funny. Any which way. But they all can show what is really wrong with the way things are. Like who’s playing us for a fool.

“Qui non stultus?” “Who Is Not a Fool?”, asked Horace (in Latin). And that was W.B.K. (Way Before Kimmel). Long live the Jester!

Blessings with belly laughs, overt soulfulness and high-hearted romantic openness,
Your Richard
Richard Martin Oxman
1713 Jennifer Drive
In the Vienna Woods of
Aptos, California 95003
831-688-8038
tosca.2010@yahoo.com

P.S. If Oprah can pick a president… Jimmy Kimmel can give us a governor. So says my ten-year old son. Letter to Guillermo is directly below.

Dear Guillermo:

Get Jimmy, quick! Tell him that I swear on my precious Marcello that I can make him the next Governor of California. Or garner him enough votes to top what all third parties in the state have ever received — combined! — in the history of the state. And/or put him in a position to pick the next person at the helm. Tell him that I know that if he does that he’ll choose someone with head, heart and soul in a healthy place, not a self-serving individual.

In fact, Guillermo, that audience you share with Jimmy… why, they can help decide WHO should call the shots. What the platform should be. And so on. [Pause.] Y’know, awhile back I had this idea for a thing called TOSCA (as in Taking Over the State of California), the plan being to have twelve unaffiliated, non-politician citizens serving as Governor together in lieu of a single, self-serving careerist. Jimmy could put together such a coalition. I mean you’d have a working figurehead candidate (Jimmy!) that people could vote for*, but — once in office — it would be known that the intention was for everyone to serve on an equal basis. I’d just love to see Snoop Dog, Cousin Sal and Kobe serving alongside, say, Dr. Wallace J. Nichols. And I’m not the only one, I’ll bet. [Goodness, maybe Jimmy (and his audience) will pick an attractive, capable woman for a Lieutenant Governor running mate!]

*A write-in candidate for the imaginary KACA Party (as in Kimmel Alternative for California) or TOSKA Party (as in Taking Over the State with Kimmel for America)… no campaign speeches… no affiliation… no obligation… no contingency upon media support… and on an unprecedented ZERO BUDGET. No signatures, no meetings, no travel, no hassle, no petitions or anything of the sort that smacks of typical campaigns. No flyers either. Like Mitch Hedberg used to say, “When people hand me a flyer, it’s like they’re saying, ‘Here, you throw this away.’”.[You could have a few T-shirts, if you like, that read something like "I'm voting for KACA. Are you voting for KACA?".]

I see six months of singular fun being generated, with everyone from Conan O’Brien to Cleto and the Cletones (I mean, Beyonce and Alicia Keys) jumping on board and into the pool of Jimmy’s hysterical electoral foray. I see the whole shebang creating the biggest story of 2010, win or lose. And not just in the realm of TV, where I totally expect to be able to raise Jimmy’s ratings 25 to 30% minimum over the six months leading up to the elections. The increased market share will give Jimmy a LOT of additional creative opportunities.

Oh yes, Guillermo, regarding that whole business of electoral fraud. Well, I’ve even got a hedge against that potential. Since the powers that be are unlikely to allow Jimmy to take office, if they have anything to say about it… and since they could resort to fixing machines or the like… I propose that if Jimmy embraces this idea, that ABC set up a system whereby they can accommodate receipt of a postcard from every registered voter who pulls the lever for Kimmel. So following the official results, ABC can have actual hard copy verification of the count (possibly) to contrast with the official tally.

Can you just imagine how much comic mileage we could all get out of a RECOUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enough for now, Guillermo. I know you have to eat.

Love,
Ricardo
P.S. Just between us, Guillermo, I’d like to see Jimmy pick you or Cleto as a running mate. But let’s not be disappointed if he picks Conan O’Brien (who’s out of work, after all), or sets it up so that someone has to buy the position on the sly, okay? Regardless, no matter what kind of obligatory sex scandal he gets involved in as a candidate… let’s be supportive. Most important for now, tell Jimmy’s manager that I’ll be glad to delineate HOW we’re going to pull off this coup upon request. They can check out my Door-to-Door With and Without Guillermo for starters.