Kimmel Guv Syndrome

Kimmel Guv Syndrome
Dedicated to the possibility that Jake Byrd or Gary Greenberg might run for Lt. Governor in 2010 for KACA (wearing a Guillermo mask to pull in the Hispanic vote) and JJ Cale
by The Ox

Note: See Pacquiao Paradigm for a proper context. All but the Kimmel articles here are quite dated.

Already there’s the appeal which comes from being founder of the Handsome Men’s Club. Now, there’s the (additional) aura which (inevitably) accompanies any (cocky) candidate who looks like a shoe-in for Governor of California, and can get the better of both Sting and Rob Lowe argumentatively, toe-to-toe.

This is a problem. Quite a quandry vis-a-vis the recruitment of men for our campaign. Who’s not going to wonder whether or not their life’s partner or partner-to-be will succumb to the most charismatic Don Juan since R. Crumb created Cheap Thrills for Big Brother and the Holding Company?

Everyone knows the old Burma Shave mantra:

Doesn’t
Kiss you
Like she useter?
Perhaps she’s seen
A smoother rooster!!
Burma-Shave

Well, I woke up the other night to a little tweak of that ditty which disturbed me greatly:

Doesn’t
Kiss you
Like she useter?
Perhaps she’s seen
A smoother rooster!!
Kimmel Guv!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta tell ‘ya, as self-appointed Campaign Manager for the Jimmy Kimmel for Governor effort, this is not a small problem.

It may be that women inspire men to create masterpieces, and yet always seem to prevent men from doing so, BUT… women are still important to men, especially the kind of men who we expect to lean on for the campaign grunt work.

So on that troublesome note, I conclude with a request for readers to give me some suggestions about how to deal with what I call — for want of a better expression — Kimmel Guv Syndrome.

Blessings in solidarity,
The Ox
Campaign Manager of TOSKA (Taking Over the State with Kimmel for America), a sub-division of
KACA (Kimmel Alternative for California)
tosca.2010[at]yahoo.com
831-688-8038 (after midnight)
P.S. If you call before midnight ask for Dick. That’s the name I go under (during those hours) as Jewish (uncircumcised) Head of the Lost Comedy Party.