by Richard Oxman

In the solitude of his modest Miami rental, Al “Ivan” Martin Malone — quite alone in other respects too — played his flute, fondled the shoelaces from one of his victim’s shoes and molded a clay figure of a child, only to crush it into a lumpen mass when he was finished.

He was watching the Joseph Losey “M” which began to play along with the Fritz Lang film on the tube nationwide as July recorded temperatures way higher than ever before.

In a strange, unacknowledged convergence of incidents, as Bad Al began to play with himself, The Great Matilda (”Em,” as Good Al began to call her) — a Fellatio Virgin — submitted to a very welcome new pleasure, a much needed relief.

Though — as you might expect — she certainly knew when someone wanted to *partake*, and, undoubtedly, dabbled knowingly with the various nooks and crannies of her own desire, this personal historical moment provided unexpected epiphanies.

“Big Al” (as “Em” was beginning to call him) was becoming quite the Turning Point in her life, the Initiator *nonpareil*. He had even gotten her to overcome her language phobia, and she was well into conversational Italian.

Her *fantastico sogno* of the moment, however, was interrupted by an interruption of a radio announcement…all of which made them turn on the tube in short order.

The radio announcement that was interrupted: “Indonesia’s first human bird flu case, coupled with more birds dying elsewhere including Russia, are signs a long-dreaded global influenza pandemic may be approaching, the World Health Organization (WHO) said today. Health officials fear the virus will mutate and mix with human influenza, creating a deadly pandemic strain that becomes easily transmissible and could kill millions of people.”

The interrupting radio announcement: Scale Broom — *Lepidospartum squamatum* — is reported as being discovered on a large scale in Southern California. The angiosperm contains an unknown toxin that is causing severe allergic reactions among pockets of the population there, and cattle — spread over a wide area, from the border to Santa Barbara — are refusing to eat barley hay that seems to have been intentionally laden with Scale Broom.

Both “Em” and “Big Al” had grown up on farms, and thought they might see useful angles if television broadcasts chose to elaborate on cattle catastrophe.

No such luck, though. The tube was jumping from this to that.

This #1: “Slow-death symptoms may be seen in animals from 4 hours to as long as 2 days after the ingestion of the blue-green algae. Lethargy and irregular breathing characterize this poisoning, perhaps with juandice and photosensitization following. The alga *Anabaena flos-aquae* can become abundant in stagnant waters in the summer months. Cattle, sheep, and waterfowl seem to be more readily poisoned by this than other animals. Death can occur from 1 to 20 minutes after ingesting it.” Some important point was made about a distinction between “the very-fast-death factor” and “the fast-death toxins of *Mycrocystis*” which escaped them.

That #1: “Many cases have been reported over the last week of San Francisco children who had eaten the fruits and some leaves of a pittosporum. The children experienced nausea, vomiting, and abdominal cramps for several days — which was to be expected — but then they died. Which leads investigators to suspect foul play, the best guess at this point being that the children were subjected to something additional.”

This #2: “Bulbs of a Deathcamas made into flour caused serious illness to members of the Lewis and Clark Expedition. Signs of Deathcamas poisoning are generally the same for all kinds of livestock. Excessive salivation is typical for the duration of the poisoning. Vomiting, weakness, rapid labored breathing, and collapse may follow. Some animals die within a few hours; others may remain in a coma for several days.”

That #2: “It’s becoming increasingly difficult for hospital staff to provide proper diagnoses, symptoms of these exotic *intrustions*, the misuse of very strange plants, the planting of toxic elements causing confusion….” The reporter seemed to go off-script, tripping over his words, getting a bit emotional.

This #3: “Restaurant business across the nation has taken quite a drop since….”

None of the agronomists or grangers in their families were any help at all. And their own farmstead backgrounds provided no foothold whatsoever.

It all was newer than real-life cunnilingus to The Great Matilda. And “Big Al” lost his erection.

Just like Uncle Sam was starting to do, losing his head.