April Foos (Ball) Day

“Nothing is so beautiful as spring –
When weeds, in wheels, shoot long and lovely and lush;
Thrush’s eggs look little low heavens…
Innocent mind and Mayday in girl and boy….”
— tweaked from Gerard Manley Hopkins’ Spring

“Leaves, like the things of man, you
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?”
— from Hopkins’ Spring and Fall: To a Young Child

NOTE: This is an archived site, a great story in and of itself. But each and every article was posted for a particular purpose, for a specific audience. Not knowing context can preclude proper understanding, even be quite off-putting. It’s probably best if you don’t read anything not recommended directly to you. What’s below is a first draft only, unedited.

April Foos (Ball) Day
Written two days before April 1st, 2012, without the full benefit of my first cup of morning brew
by Ox

You into Dolly Parton and bloodless revolutions? How deeply? How about the work of Doc Pomus and Mort Shuman and Adrienne Rich? Foos ball? Me too. All kinds of tunes and games ‘cross the spectrum. I just don’t like being crossed when it comes to the suffering of my Mother Earth and her lovely creatures, the rape of the song within us all. I detest playing games which preclude dancing. O bailan todos o no baile nadie.

One explanation of the origins of April Fools’ Day was provided by Joseph Boskin, a professor of history at Boston University. He explained that the practice began during the reign of Constantine, when a group of court jesters and fools told the Roman emperor that they could do a better job of running the empire. Constantine, amused, allowed a jester named Kugel to be king for one day. Kugel passed an edict calling for absurdity on that day, and the custom became an annual event.

“In a way,” explained Prof. Boskin, “it was a very serious day. In those times fools were really wise men. It was the role of jesters to put things in perspective with humor.”

This explanation was brought to the public’s attention in an Associated Press article printed by many newspapers in 1983. There was only one catch: Boskin made the whole thing up. It took a couple of weeks for the AP to realize that they’d been victims of an April Fools’ joke themselves.

That’s what I was thinking about while I was playing foos ball last night with my son. For a grand prank had been played on me. [Pause.] Not by the powers that be. I’ve known about that for a long time. But the ongoing one perpetrated by the well-meaning, highly educated and deeply experienced and talented activists of our day. The one’s that are fooling themselves. And not just in April, but year ’round.

See me for elaboration on the above. In the meantime, I give you and my son — who I will be leaving all this with upon my death — the most serious of hoaxes to consider, the one that’s embedded in the injunction to honor thy father and thy mother. One of the many tricks played on the creative angels we are blessed with, as we turn them from their treasured blessing op for having a ball with this heaven on earth.

Philip Larkin was a scumbag in many ways, but he was spot on when he scrawled the lines of This Be the Verse:

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

Fools in old-style hats and coats. Yes. Habit, the great deadener, as Beckett said. See me, if you will, to talk about the obsolete models of action being employed by concerned citizens these days, the very ones who protest the loudest, who claim to want to change the status quo. Let me know you’re interested, and I’ll blow you out of the toxic water with some singular observations which are not even being talked about via the so-called alternative media outlets. Sources of information which — like what comes from frustrated parents without self-insight — are tainting… what’s being passed on. Missing what’s being passed over. Not honoring the souls of our offspring.

At about 1:11 into the link given directly below you’ll see what looks like a little boy confronting a true horror. The horror is real, but it’s not a male, it’s a sweet young girl puffed up like a boy. Her name was April. And she died the day the photo was taken.


Save the last dance for me, will you? Don’t waste your last steps cutting a rug with the leaders of our Mom and Pop citizen talk shops hawking obsolete activism in the face of No Spring Ever Again.

Only you can contact the author at aptosnews@gmail.com and make a difference.

Most of the time it’s not important what’s true. Only that you not ask. That you call dead balls as you see them. That you not only take the steps that you’ve been shown.