Archive for July, 2005

Chapter 9, ‘Mmmerican Waterlooo

Scene from M

In the solitude of his modest Miami rental, Al “Ivan” Martin Malone — quite alone in other respects too — played his flute, fondled the shoelaces from one of his victim’s shoes and molded a clay figure of a child, only to crush it into a lumpen mass when he was finished.

He was watching the Joseph Losey “M” which began to play along with the Fritz Lang film on the tube nationwide as July recorded temperatures way higher than ever before.

Chapter 8, ‘Mmmerican Waterlooo

Fat Guy Playing Tuba

As the Great Matilda and the *former* Lead Inspector Malone attempted to discuss Martinism for the fifth time in two days, “Ivan” Malone turned in his ticket at the turnstile for the late-out-of-the-gate 2007 Major League Baseball All-Star Game. Tough security measures were in place, and the annual event was taking place in mid-July instead of earlier (as usual) ’cause of the intentional food poisoning which took place at concessions near the Founders Club of the Marlins’ Dolphins Stadium…leaving fourteen dead in May.

Nothing could have stopped “Ivan” from gaining entrance, but…Good Al Malone had been defrocked –relieved of his righteous official duties– because of being (”inexplicably,” read the report) out of touch with colleagues “at crucial crossroads.” His duly authorized doors were closed. Padlocked shut.

Chapter 7, ‘Mmmerican Waterlooo

sunk in the james river

Instead of lighting two cigarettes in bed, doing his favorite imitation of Paul Henreid, Al took in The Great Bottom of The Great Matilda really well, and swelled over her like one of those full Half Moon breakers she had been talkin’ about.

Our Potential Hero had become temporarily *displaced*, courting his particular form of madness. Making no more of a fool of himself than Hamlet hesitating, or sterile farmer Quixote circling like a lunatic Hidalgo, Good Al finished with a flourish before returning to the dim lights of the living room…and a return to the Moon card discussion.

It wasn’t until the real lobster was on the table, however, that the Tarot’s decapod crustacean commanded the conversation’s spotlight: “See…it strives to attain manifestation, crawling from the abyss of water to the land,” instructed Matilda.

Chapter Six, ‘Mmmerican Waterlooo

You Must Have Been A Beautiful Baby

As The Great Matilda quietly served Our Great Oceanic Organic Tea to our Good Al Malone, she recounted fragments of her honeymoon for him. Initially. He quickly got her to change the topic, though, back to the business of tracking down…Those Responsible.

Not before, however, he had the thought: “You have filled my tea with lumps of sugar, and though I asked most distinctly for bread and butter, you have given me cake.”

Wild thoughts in the ‘midst of a manhunt for The Mastermind. Funny as the hell they were in, but he couldn’t help himself.

His mind was racing into *film noir*. The visual motifs that predominated in his favorite began to catch his attention in Matilda’s room: the low key lighting, the diagonals (of kitsch)…reality not being what it seemed, he was sure. *Mildred Pierce.*

‘Mmmerican Waterlooo, Chapter 5


For her honeymoon, she had experienced coastal cuisine in its truest and finest form at The Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay’s signature restaurant, Mavio. Now the entire AAA Five Diamond resort, situated atop a dramatic ocean bluff, was gone. Its array of compelling wines from around the world lay all over the body of Pastry Chef Michel O’Malley and colleagues amidst the remnants of the old 1,000-square foot display kitchen and raw bar. Decadent desserts with innovative pairings and creative plating –along with the personnel– had become the victims of the only 7/7 suicide bombing. Memories of the warm and relaxed ambiance with panoramic ocean views creeped in as she watched the area’s two golf courses burning like a forest fire on the early evening news.

In her reverie, she instinctively reached for her cards.

Jean Charles de Menezes: Goal Kicks for Goalpost Violations

futbol 1958

When the South American side won the World Cup in 1958, 1962 and 1970, Brazil either tied or beat England en route to lifting the trophy.

You mean, that *isn’t* why that London plainclothes officer killed Brazilian Jean Charles de Menezes?

Why then?

Please don’t refer to the early reports. An example: “The man who was shot was under police observation because he had emerged from a house that was itself under observation because it was linked to the investigation of yesterday’s incidents,” police said in a statement. “He was then followed by surveillance officers to the station. His clothing and his behavior at the station added to their suspicions.”

‘Mmmerican Waterlooo, Chapter Four


The phone kept ringing and ringing, but The Great Matilda couldn’t make it in time. She was too transfixed by the news.

While Good Malone was burning rubber to get to Matilda’s before closing, health clubs around the nation were being informed that their clients were becoming sick –some dying– as a result of methylene chloride having been heated via their air ducts. In the form of Phone Calls Taking Responsibility…anonymously.

The colorless, volatile liquid with its sweet chloroform-like odor is quite pleasant. But…it becomes particularly toxic when heated, emitting the potentially deadly gas phosgene.

Chapter Three, ‘Mmmerican Waterlooo (formerly ‘Mmmerican Waterloo)

future retro 777

He never brought handkerchiefs along, this Malone. Didn’t own any, this simpler singular fellow, even though his glands were infinitely more active than those of Bad Malone.

Lead Inspector Malone’s specialty was electronic surveillance from early on; it included covert video and audio installations, body recorders and body transmitters used for consensual monitoring, court ordered bugs and wiretaps. He was a participant in many covert surveillance operations against foreign intelligence and terrorist organizations. In addition, he had participated in numerous operations against La Cosa Nostra crime families and other Criminal Organizations in the United States.

He went *on the take* just a few days before the U.S. Government secured his services, for the purposes of tracking down…the Moloch from Eire and/or his ireful colleagues. Terrorized by $$$.

Chapter Two, ‘Mmmerican Waterloo (formerly “American Waterloo”)

Dear Readers: Don’t be concerned about the allusions; get the drift, the thrust, the dust of my desideratum. If you must…look up words. Please check the recent Archives here for Chapter One, should you have missed it. Even if not, there’s an altered version now available. Wouldn’t hurt, in any case, to start over for momentum’s sake…in more than one sense. And please remember…this is fiction.

“Nothing more to be done for now,” thought well-monogrammed Malone. Made the grade, the *madmen* had, Bad Big Time.

There was never anyone to contact for quiet moments. Now not a sound penetrated the placid, bare room, padded. He felt his glands’ gook, and perhaps something in his eye too. But he only saw the pad and pencil on his lap. His name in Gaelic. He thawed.

Are You Talking About Cheeses of Nazareth?

A young Jewish man gets married to a Native American woman. His mom freaks out.

When the mom finds out that her only boy — on top of *that* — has decided to live on a reservation with his bride…she stops speaking to him. Threatens to disown him.

After 9/11, the son telephones…trying to break the ice (at a time when there seemed to be a window of opportunity respecting estrangement in families coast-to-coast). He did have *other* news, additional news…from where they had left off.